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Bi-Topping-Ality
" |image = PizzaTest.png |caption = Testing for topping preference. |director = Angelo Hatgistavrou |writer = Brad Neely |date = May 3, 2015 |starring = * Crystal * Frank * Pony * Steve * The Mayor |prev = "Crow College" |next = "Parent's Day"}} "Bi-Topping-Ality" is the fifth episode of Season 3 and the twenty-fifth episode of China, IL. Summary Pizza topping preference causes controversy while Steve obsesses over celebrities and Frank has difficulty thanking Crystal after she did him a favor. Plot The Mayor introduces a ban on anchovies in the restaurant, Church of Pizza, and allowing only pepperoni, claiming it's the ideal pizza topping. Watching this ad as arguments begin, Pony plans on fighting this law. Frank ducks suddenly after taking notice of Crystal's entrance, noting that he tried to send her an e-mail of gratitude for a favor she did but failed due to the message bouncing back. Steve tells Frank it's too late to re-send it and he now has to hand-write a note, claiming it's "how celebs do it." Later during class, Steve's lecture is interrupted as a new celebrity student, Trump's Kid, enters. Trump's Kid states that he's heard positive things about Steve, and invites him to drink with his celebrity friends to Steve's excitement. Meanwhile, Pony enters Church of Pizza, protesting the Mayor's anchovy ban but is silenced by the Mayor. When Pony brings up a possibility that anchovy eaters have an "anchovy gene," the Mayor reconsiders. While on break, Steve compliments Trump's Kid while conversing with Frank, claiming the new student is "really down-to-Earth." Changing the subject, Frank asks Steve to proofread his thank-you letter, but one of its lines gets the message a negative view from Steve. After Frank hides from Crystal again, Steve tells Frank to think of a time he was truly grateful for something and work with that. Elsewhere on campus, several people are tested for the hypothetical anchovy gene; Pony guarantees its existence. In his apartment, Frank tries to write his letter, keeping genuine gratitude on his mind, but cries in the process and is unable to write due to his childhood being plagued by bullying. As Frank then searches the Internet for gift ideas, Trump's Kid and Steve at VIP Club greet Snizz, a man who's a part of Trump's Kid's inner circle. Trump's Kid and Snizz prove to be perverted and womanizing to a degree that makes Steve uncomfortable. Noticing this, Snizz becomes skeptical about Steve's status, forcing Steve to conform to their ways for the sake of being accepted. Frank calls a bouquet shop for a gift for Crystal that he can afford. After rushing to make his order, he finds that the bouquet he ordered will send Crystal erroneous messages, and his attempts to cancel the order fail. Meanwhile, a news report airs and claims that the anchovy gene is real. The report cuts to the Mayor, who claims he'll only allow those confirmed to have the gene to eat anchovies, expanding the reformed law across China, and Pony discovers that Baby Cakes is a fan of both pepperonis and anchovies—a condition colloquially known as "bi-topping-ality"—and is against this condition due to the thought of topping preference being completely binary. Frank spots the deliveryman making the delivery of the bouquet and demands once again that the deliveryman cancel it. Instead, the deliveryman drives faster, keeping in mind his reputation of delivering all things requested without fail, but the race between him and Frank causes the delivery man to drive off a bridge, setting his truck ablaze and forcing him to abandon the delivery. Witnessing this, Frank plans on a better gift. At VIP Club are Snizz, Trump's Kid, and Steve; Trump's Kid introduces more of his celebrity friends to Steve, who tries to conform to the group's lust, wanting to maintain his status as a celebrity. Trump's Kid focuses on Kim, but Steve warns the celebrity she's one of his students. In turn, Trump's Kid thinks introducing Steve to his friends is a giant favor that can be repaid only by Steve getting Trump's Kid with Kim. Relenting, Steve signals Kim to the inner circle, where Trump's Kid flirts with her, stating his desired actions he'll take during their sex session. Kim prepares to leave, but Steve points out Trump's Kid's honesty, a quality that makes Kim decide to stay and agree to the sex she will soon have with Trump's Kid. At Church of Pizza, the new equipment is set up to test those who order anchovies for the anchovy gene. When Baby Cakes tries to order an anchovy pizza, the equipment shows he doesn't have the right gene. After lying that the swab test was erroneous, Pony and Baby Cakes join the Smiths. Steve's personality changes due to his new clique, while Frank leaves, claiming he's buying a massage chair for Crystal. The massage chair deliveryman is about to deliver the massage chair to Crystal as Frank planned, but the deliveryman drives off when the flower deliveryman pulls up and explains what he thinks is a mistake. Frank tackles the man, who then comes to an understanding when Frank explains that it's now been two weeks since Crystal did him a favor and is in need of a gratuitous repayment. At a club for bi-toppers, those who like both pepperonis and anchovies enjoy the pizza of their choice, but the diners are interrupted by the Mayor, who claims topping preferences are merely choice, thinking the anchovy gene is a hoax, and the officers arrest those in the club. Meanwhile at Crystal's residence, Frank has the flower deliveryman sing a song to Crystal, but she stops listening mid-way when a line offends her. Obsessed with his reputation, the man breaks down the front door to continue the song but gets shot by Crystal. At Trump's Kid's residence, Steve sees Kim has a black eye and assumes Trump's Kid assaulted her. Although Trump's Kid states that Kim did this to herself unintentionally, Steve worries he has become too obsessed with the celebrities. Enraged and disbelieving due to his concern with Kim, Steve throws Trump's Kid off the balcony's edge, and Trump's Kid declares Steve is no longer in the celebrity circle. When Steve sees Kim fall and bruise her other eye, he discovers that Trump's Kid was being honest and that he needlessly destroyed his reputation of being a celebrity. A news report sheds light to the renewed ban on anchovies, which is effective everywhere, and those caught eating anchovies will be imprisoned. While the anchovy-eaters are brought into the police station, the previously-imprisoned Crystal is already there for alleged murder, and Frank meets with her to show his gratitude for the favor she did him. Frank gives her a saw he smuggled in, and just then, an officer states her "murder" was self-defense and initially sets her free, only to take notice of the saw and keeps her for more questioning as Frank sneaks out of the cell. Nearby, the Mayor gathers the anchovy-eaters, but Baby Cakes breaks free from his shackles to protest; he gives a speech on how people needlessly care about preference of anything and protests that there should be freedom of choice for pizza toppings. Seeing the logic of Baby Cakes' speech, the Mayor allows both pepperoni and anchovy pizzas to be eaten in his pizzeria, causing the crowd to cheer. The celebration stops when a re-imprisoned Crystal claims she prefers mushrooms, and everyone hypocritically judges her. Trivia * The Mayor states that he supports homosexual marriage. * According to Scrim, the celebrities' father is Warren Buffett. * Frank's license plate reads 244 955, Crystal's reads 585 394, and Trump's Kid's reads 3AD R4T. * Before this episode, Crystal covered for some of Frank's classes. * Jen and Gang Sang make their last appearances in this episode. * The American flag that appears in the Mayor's opening advertisement only has forty-eight stars. * Frank's credit card number is 4507 3300 000 0022, with an expiration of February 2018. * Crystal's address is 679 Oak Street, China, IL, 60010. * Before joining Trump's Kid's clique, Steve admires Oprah, only to deny such admiration when conversing with the celebrities, who scorn Oprah. * Per Baby Cakes, Danny DeVito drinks "hummingbird food," under which Baby Cakes categorizes limoncello. * Stacy Megan eats both pepperoni- and achovy-topped pizza, but not both toppings simultaneously. * Despite devoutly supporting the initial anchovy ban, Falgot later is labeled an "anchovy eater." * Breaking free from his handcuffs, Baby Cakes exclaims "Gattaca!" * The Mayor, Crystal, Frank, Steve and the Celebrities not shown eating anchovies. * Billy, the Celebrities, Crystal, Flip Flop, Gang Sang, Jetta, Matt, Spider, Steve, Sunshine, and the Dean are never shown eating pepperonis. * Frank and Steve remain indifferent to the pizza topping argument. However, Frank is seen eating a slice of pepperoni pizza. Running Gags * The celebrities, and Baby Cakes at the end of the episode, say bit in place of bitch. Goofs * As Pony talks to the Mayor, background objects change. Quotes :The Mayor: Mayor got a new law, new law! From here on, anchovy eating is banned in Mayor's Church of Pizza. Do it at home, behind closed doors, because in the eyes of God, the only topping that is right and traditional to be eaten on a bed of dough in the church is pepperoni. ---- :Baby Cakes: Oh my God! I want a pepperoni pizza right now! ---- :Debra: Guys just want to collect sexual experiences. New girl? Bang! New girl? Bang! New girl? Bang! ---- :Kim: Steve, you're like a sweet type of pervert. ---- :Pony: What if I can prove that anchovy eaters have a 'chovy gene? ---- :Trump's Kid: Snizz! How was Dubai! :Snizz: More like Du-Boring. ---- :Baby Cakes: 'Chovies and pepperonis go down so good—together! Oooooh yeah! :Pony: Oh no. ---- :Pony: B.C., you can't like both toppings. We just proved that you either have the anchovy gene, or you don't. :Baby Cakes: I don't know; both felt right. ---- :Billy: B.C. is just a repressed, full-on anchovy-eater, like I was before. :Pony: It makes sense. If he wants anchovies, me must have the anchovy gene, right? :Billy: His love for pepperoni—it's all been a lie. :Baby Cakes: Then I'm the greatest liar ever. ---- :Steve: to talk Trump's Kid out his lust for Kim I heard she's supposed to have, like, the worst of the STDs. :Snizz: No way! A baby? ---- :Trump's Kid: I'm hung like a hand, if you know what I mean. :Kim: I super don't. ---- :Cakes has proven to lack the anchovy gene. :Pony: No more anchovies, got it? :Baby Cakes: Fine, I'm done experimenting. ---- :Pony: Steve spy on a girl Dude, get your molesterol checked. ---- :being surrounded by celebrities, Steve's personality shifts. :Frank: Who the fuck are you? ---- :Frank: You dog-dicked idiot! ---- :Baby Cakes: on pepperoni- and anchovy-topped pizza simultaneously I'm so ashamed, but it feels so right. ---- :Sammy: Desire's a spectrum. Some of you are lifetime bi-toppers; some are bi-curious. Some have the gene, but they want their pepperoni too. Some don't have the gene but choose the anchovy when they are drunk. ---- :Kim: and hitting her head on a doorknob Aw, crap! I keep doing that! ---- :Golden: Breaking news! :Pony: the news report Why is still going when no more want? :Golden: Because anchovy rights people put their entire argument on the gene thing, the Mayor feels completely legitimized in revoking all the rights from the anchovy eaters, banning anchovy eating anywhere, including their homes. Yes, the rounding up and detaining of registered anchovy eaters, heretofore known as AEs, began early this morning, and the Mayor has put them all in jail for re-education. :Pony: Sighs Now I've got to put on my fucking pants! ---- :Baby Cakes: If a guy chooses to marry another guy, he should be able to, right? :The Mayor: Well, of course. ---- :Baby Cakes: Science is dumb. ---- :anchovy ban is lifted, and the crowd celebrates. :Crystal: I want mushrooms! :befalls the room. :Baby Cakes: That is fucking disgusting. I'm glad they got you locked up, you sick-ass bit. Characters Appearing * Baby Cakes * Billy * Cinn-a-Mon * Calypso * Condé Nasty * Cravid * Debra * Falgot * Flip Flop * Food Clerk * Frank * Gang Sang * Golden * Gwen * Henry VIII * Jen * Jetta * Kim * Leslie * Leonard * Matt * Officer Jacobson * Pemsy * Pony * Sammy * Scrim * Snizz * Snowball * Spider * Stacy Megan * Steve * Sunshine * Sweater Beard * The Dean * The Mayor * Trouble Bubble * Trump's Kid * White Angus Gallery ChPizza.png|The Mayor bans anchovies... TBArgue.png|...causing an argument. TK.png|Trump's Kid enters Steve's class. RepealTry.png|Pony tries to make the Mayor repeal the anchovy ban. PizzaTest.png|The campus is tested for the anchovy gene. FrankLetter.png|Frank tries writing a letter to Crystal. VIP2.png|Steve and others gather at VIP Club. FrankPanic.png|Frank panics when he realizes he ordered the wrong flower bouquet. PartialBanLift.png|The Mayor lifts the anchovy ban for those proved to have the anchovy gene. BTAlity.png|Supposedly expressing "bi-topping-ality," Baby Cakes enjoys both anchovies and pepperonis as pizza toppings. ILYMTA.png|The bouquet that Frank erroneously ordered is being delivered by a persistent deliveryman. VIP3.png|Steve signals Kim over for Trump's Kid after the latter makes clear that he lusts her. CauseBore.png|Pony wearies of the cause she created. SteveShift.png|Steve's personality shifts after he joins Trump's Kid's inner circle. FrankDeal.png|Frank makes a deal with the flower deliveryman. BiTopArrest.png|"Bi-toppers" are arrested for enjoying anchovies with pepperoni. CrystalsGift.png|The deliveryman gives Crystal her gift in song form shortly before being killed. SteveRage.png|When Kim appears to have been assaulted, Steve, sacrificing his celebrity status, attacks Trump's Kid. ReBan.png|The anchovy ban returns, stricter than it was before. PayVisit.png|Frank visits Crystal to thank her. BCSpeech.png|Baby Cakes gives a speech regarding topping preference. RealBanLift.png|The Mayor lifts the ban on anchovies. Category:Episodes Category:Season 3